"More consistent rent from a meth-head" among reasons Raiders beat Warriors in Christchurch tonight
Two-and-oh takes on oh-and-two tonight when the gritty and determined Canberra Raiders take on the super-talented, flighty, New Zealand Warriors in Christchurch. We win. Indeed we crush them.
YES! Two-and-oh, baby, a 100 percent perfect start to season 2024 despite the nay-sayers - silly nay-sayers - tipping the spoon for our Canberra Raiders. You could sell these people things if you knew how to twist ‘em.
Granted, the Wests Tigers are a basket case for whom missing the top-eight is embedded in their DNA. But our Green Machine’s effort, particularly in defence, in the 32-12 win at GIO Stadium last Saturday was very pleasing indeed.
Because this: despite the very high likelihood of winning, our people kept the Tigers at bay for several sets in the first half of the second half, and kept them further at bay, whatever that expression means, by keeping the bastards scoreless for the entirety of the second half.
Defence is attitude, they say, and so is putting a bloodied sandle on the throat of a bleeding opponent. And the Raiders employed these attitudes, and ground the game out with brutal, suffocating ‘D’.
Top stuff.
We also scored five tries, which was plenty.
Ethan Strange showed off his hot-pronking feet, and with his front-on defence, the Raiders have a hot one here. Top little six, our Ethan, he’s only 19, think we’ll keep him.
New kids Zac Hosking and Morgan Smithies were very good, again. Matt Timoko ran free like the buffalo, he’s harder to tackle than a strong little pig. And Xavier Savage appears to have cemented a wing berth, his work highlighted by a blindside try from a planned move called “Special” by Ricky Stuart who punters will tell you, still to this day, doesn’t know how to coach, even after 20 years doing it in the NRL.
As above, you could sell these people anything, when you know how to twist ‘em, as Donald Trump does his cult.
Regardless, a pox upon him, our X-Man also made two line breaks and appears to have built up in the off-season, allowing him to make hard yards from the back. Think we’ll hang on to him, too.
Elsewhere, Danny Levi made hay on the back of hard charges from Josh Papalii and Joe Tapine and the other giants, all of whom enjoyed what’s best in life, according to Conan the Barbarian in the hit film Conan the Barbarian, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.”
Might’ve used that one a time or two. But it’s a beaut.
And so to the Wahs, who are zero-from-two after putting together 80 minutes of shit-hot footy against Cronulla Sharks and Melbourne Storm when 160 minutes was required.
There’s a fair bit about the Warriors and if they ever channel their best footy for the entirety of a game, they could beat Penrith Panthers, Sydney Roosters and the ‘65 Saints. Issue is for the Warriors, and their supporters have become somewhat inured to it given history, but you’d get more consistent rent from a meth-head.
Yes, it’s a line I’ve used a time or two, too, but which continues to hold up, particularly when talking of New Zealand Warriors, who win at 60 percent in Auckland and 30 percent everywhere else in New Zealand, according to the Raiders Review With Blake & The Pork podcast, it’s pretty good, have a listen.
Game’s on Fox League at 6pm.
Up The Milk.
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In other-other news, covering the game this evening for a battling little Aussie company called News Ltd, the match report will be in tomorrow’s Daily Telegraph newspaper and various online assets. Understand if you can’t stomach adding to Lachlan Murdoch’s trust fund but you could check out a copy in a cafe, or steal one from a neighbour’s lawn, or even not worry about reading it and go about your day, no skin off my nose, go fuck yourself.
And bye for now.
Ha.